Blue Raspberries and Blackberries

I am not average - in a good way.

This weekend, we had a retreat for 27 of our student leaders, and I was responsible for a few pieces of diversity and co-facilitation programming. Working with this group of students reminds me of how much I love working with 18-22-year-old student leaders, and helps me remember why I got into this field in the first place. My current position doesn't allow for too much of the direct student contact outside of the occasional retreat, so I really value these opportunities to become more invested in my students' lives and experiences.

After the retreat, Terry Laurie, Miguel and I went to this book reading author's event that Miguel invited us to a few weeks ago. The author is a friend-of-a-friend-of-Miguel's, and he's set to read a short story of his own at her book tour in the fall. This was (to my knowledge) my first meet the author/book reading event, and it was really an interesting experience. The author invited four of her writing friends to share short stories of their own before she read excerpts from her book (of which I now own a copy). We got her autograph on the way out, and she apparently thinks I'm super cute. Good times, good times! The whole thing was a little odd, though - I think we had expected our conversations with the author to be a bit different; and truthfully, I think Miguel was a little disappointed in the not-so-fantastic and amazing conversation we had with her. Regardless, it was a fun experience, and I'm happy to share these fun moments with my friends.

And now, for some trivia: What's the difference between a blackberry and a blue raspberry? (Yes, we had a conversation at length about this at the reading . . . and yes, I'm aware as to how 'cool' that makes me sound . . .) According to innvista.com:

Blackberries are from the Rose family and virtually indistinguishable from the
dewberry and the raspberry. The main difference between them is that
blackberries are larger and grow on a thorny upright bush, while the dewberry
bush trails. There is also another sure test. When a blackberry is picked, it
comes off the plant with its receptacle. The receptacle is the solid center to
which the drupelets cling. When a raspberry is picked, the receptacle remains on
the bush; and the berry is hollow inside. A good blackberry will have large
drupelets in relation to the inner core. The blackberry bush annexes any
available piece of ground around it, and is quite prevalent in the Vancouver,
Canada, area.

Both are equally delicious.

". . . There's Hope, it doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh, you'd better thank God for that . . ."

Nip/Tuck

You have GOT to be kidding me.

A plastic surgeon has written a children's book to help daughters and sons understand why mommy looks funny in her bandages and is hurting so much after she's had plastic surgery.

So why am I upset? Is it because they're making plastic surgery a female thing, and playing on stereotypes while disregarding the facts that a large number of men have similar concerns driving them to plastic surgery each year?

Haha. No. (Although I do bring up a good point, if I do say so myself . . . )

I think this is ridiculous because we're moving further down the path toward normalizing plastic surgery as an option if you're not happy with the way you look. Yes, plastic surgery can be a very beneficial thing for people, given specific circumstances, but in my opinion, it shouldn't be our quick fix default option. I mean, what are we trying to teach our children about self-respect, self-acceptance, and the importance of developing a positive self-esteem?

Our children are already growing up in a society constantly telling them they're not good enough, and messages like this reinforce this statement, and breed future generations of people with low self-esteem and body image issues. Rock on . . .

". . . and every magazine, tells her she's not good enough, the pictures that she sees, make her cry, she would change everything, everything just ask her, caught in the in-between of Beautiful Disaster . . ."

oh

sunset boulevard
constant reminder of him
what if he's the one

You Don't Really Wanna Mess With Me Tonight

SO a few weeks ago, I went on this date with a guy I like to refer to as mo. (Sidenote: Funny Story: Miguel pointed out that 'mo' is often the shortened version of 'homo', which is often the shortened version of homosexual, and I laughed at the irony behind the situation - as the mo I refer to is named mo because he used to have a mohawk, and not because he's a homosexual.) So this date was unlike any other I'd had in the past, and I kind of liked the guy, so we had a second date.

During the week between the two dates, I came down with a terrible cold, so when it came time for our second date, I shared the news with mo that I wasn't at my best, and he said that was fine. I figured that would mean we wouldn't be kissing or sharing drinks, which I figure is fine by me (although I will say he proved to be a good kisser on the goodnight kiss from the first date).

Our second date took place in his apartment, where he put together a nice spread of picnic-type foods, which was really fun. As the date progressed, I realized that my one spritzer (or whatever it was he called it) was hitting me harder than I'd expected, to which I realized it was probably reacting to my cold medicine, so I opted to cut myself off after the one drink. Mo decided he wanted to continue to drink (which was fine by me), but kept trying to encourage me to drink more, which I thought was weird.

After a few more drinks, I realized mo was getting rather tipsy, and I was getting, well, rather sober. The tipsier mo became, the more I realized my cold medicine was wearing off. I mentioned to him that I should probably go so I could get more meds and get some rest, and his response:

"Just take mine. I'm on an antibiotic for a bad cold I've had for three weeks now."

WHAT?!?

That's right. Mo went on the first date with me while he was sick with a bad cold that hadn't gone away after two weeks on medication (doesn't sound like your run-of-the-mill, everyday cold, now does it?), AND kissed me, knowing full well that he was ill and might probably be sharing those germs with me - and didn't say a word about it. THEN, he offers me HIS prescription (note: don't Doctors ALWAYS say to NEVER share your drugs with someone else?), and casually mentions that he's been sick for awhile. So at this point, I realize that I've probably stumbled across the reason I am sick, and I'm pretty upset about it.

At that point I left (I didn't bother explaining to mo about why I was unhappy or anything, as the super tipsy mo probably wouldn't understand why that is an issue, seeing as how he didn't understand it was an issue in the first place), and then didn't respond to his text the following day.

Now, mo hates me (which is fine - we weren't meant to be anyway), and I'm sicker than a dog with some awful cold that's had me away from work for four days so far. The Doctor prescribed me my own antibiotic, and I'm well on my way to better (I hope), but I've learned a valuable lesson here:

Never trust a mo no-mo 'mo, as he might have mono. (don't lie - you laughed a little bit . . .)

The end.

". . . I was fine before you walked into my life, 'cause you know it's over, before it begins, keep your drink just give me the money, it's just U + U're Hand Tonight . . . "

Reminders of Home

Today was a day of reminiscing and missing home, marked by a visit to the UM Chipotle (which always reminds me of home), and my cup had an interesting story on it.

People We’re Pleased to Know
- PART 7 –

Long before PETA made splattering paint on fur-clad celebrities fashionable, Dr. Bernie Rollin was advocating for the ethical treatment of animals. This Harley-riding, weight-lifting philosophy professor believed humans had a moral obligation to reduce animal suffering.

In 1978, Bernie developed the world’s first course in veterinary medical ethics at Colorado State University (now standard at U.S. vet schools). In addition to a dozen books, he’s written successful federal legislation that has provided research animals the right to live pain-free.

We believe animals deserve respect, too. That’s a cornerstone of what we call Food With Integrity, an idea that has led Chipotle to serve more naturally raised meat – meat from animals that are fed a pure vegetarian diet, never given antibiotics or added hormones, and raised humanely – than any other restaurant.

We first heard Bernie speak a couple of years ago at Meat University, a program put together at Colorado State in Fort Collins, and we were immediately smitten. When we got to know him better, not only did he encourage our line of thinking and action, but he also helped us realize that what we were doing was right.

In life, actions and words speak pretty effectively together. Living proof of this reality is Dr. Bernie Rollin.

I miss home . . .

Hold Me Tight, Tell Me I'm the Only One

Today was a fantastic day! I spent the morning and early afternoon at Surfside Beach with Miguel and started working on my tan in my new red trunks. Then, Miguel came to Bally's as my guest, and I got a quick workout in my day. On the drive from the beach to Bally's, I had an awesome conversation with Kristin, which was wonderful since we haven't talked via phone in quite some time. She gave me the details for Amanda's wedding (Yay congratulations Amanda and Dan!!!!) - I certainly hope I can go!!! My convo with Kristin reminded me that I don't update this nearly as often as I should - hence the post tonight. :o)

Now, I'm just about to head out the door for a movie with Larry, Diego, and Miguel (and maybe some others?), which will be fun. I've missed Diego, so I'm really looking forward to seeing him (I see the others all the time, and of course, I'm excited to see them, too!).

I've been listening to the Across the Universe soundtrack a lot lately, and must say I'm falling in love with the Beatles all over again! If you haven't seen that movie, you definitely need to. As a matter of fact, just go buy it - no need to waste time renting the movie first. It really is that good!

I've also been listening to Britney a lot lately - and to be honest, I'm starting to feel somewhat sympathetic toward her. Now, before you go all crazy on me, please recognize that I KNOW she's not the best role model, and she's definitely made some choices she probably shouldn't have - but I read this outstanding article the other day at Barnes & Noble about X17 - a paparazzi company in Calif. that basically is leading the case when it comes to Britney and her antics. After reading the article (and by reading, I mean skimming . . . although I think I want to buy the magazine and read it in full . . . ), I started to think about how hard Britney's life must be, in terms of her emotional and mental capacities. Really, to be followed all day, everyday, with people in your face, shouting things, shooting things, and catching you at your absolute worst - and then to have all of that publicized and criticized by everyone in the world . . . that doesn't sound like a life I'd want to live.

Aaaand on that note - gotta run! Ciao.

". . . it feels so right now, Hold, Me Tight, let me go on loving you, tonight, tonight, making love to only you, so Hold, Me Tight, tonight, tonight, it's yo-ou, you you you . . ."

I'm Listening

Sally Kern from Oklahoma has caught the attention of many through a tirade she didn't expect to be distributed widely in the public - and everyone needs to hear her message. I say this not in agreement with her, but rather to help others understand the real threat towards human rights and equality. Please listen, and share with others.

I Will Get By, Yeah

I just returned from the gym, where I had my second official workout since I became a member last Tuesday. Today, I met with a personal trainer as part of my two free visits with a trainer, and I must admit, I'm a little down and out.

First, we measured my body-fat index, where I discovered I have a much larger percentage of body fat than I anticipated. I'm at 28 percent (which is technically considered obese for a 25-year-old), and he said I need to aim for something more like 16-18 percent - a drop of ten to twelve percent. The trainer said the percentage doesn't mean I'm 'fat', and in a visual sense, I don't appear overweight - but I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit depressing. I talked with my mom about it and she reminded me that my dad's side of the family naturally has a much higher percentage of body fat than the average person, so that is a good thing to keep in mind, but it's still discouraging.

The next piece to chip at my self-esteem was the training itself. Ricky (the trainer guy) quickly put me through a series of weight machines and exercises to see where I'm at. Now, I'm a runner and definitely have a good endurance when it comes to cardio, so that's good. On top of it, I've built up some decent leg muscles from all of the running, so that was helpful tonight when it came to lower body workouts. I also discovered my back is rather strong, which is also a good thing, and my abs are in decent shape, which has a lot to do with the running and with all of the ab workouts I did during college and grad school. The big disappointment was my upper body strength - which really wasn't anywhere near where I'd like to be. Ricky pushed me pretty hard with a variety of workouts, and I was rather disappointed in my performance overall - and very tired after the thirty minutes or so spent with him.

I need to be careful with my mindset, and remind myself that I'm doing this to become healthier, and avoid getting down on myself for where I'm at. A big reason to join the gym was to get myself into better shape, and you have to start somewhere. I need to keep myself out of an unhealthy mindset (I struggled with that a lot in undergrad), but it's just not fun to discover you have more work to do than you expected, I guess.

So here's to being healthy! (And here's to doing it with a positive self-image!)

". . . I've got a little hope here in my pocket, wanna share a bit with you, just be careful that you don't drop it, don't worry if you do . . ."

Paint a Portrait of My Mystery

This weekend, I've decided to spend a bit of time alone, focusing on myself and things I truly want to do.

Last night, I went to the movie theater to watch 'Definitely, Maybe' by myself, and it was a really good movie, and a great experience! If you haven't ever seen a movie alone, I'd strongly recommend it. It's a very empowering experience, really! After the movie, I returned home and watched a few episodes from Season 4 of Will & Grace, before heading to bed.

This morning I awoke earlier than normal on a Saturday, and walked downtown for the farmer's market, spending the late morning/early afternoon hours in my favorite downtown spots. I returned home and prepared to head to the beach, where I spent a few hours laying out, and then ran along the shore (which is something that's been on my 'to do' list ever since I moved to the East Coast). I just returned from my time at the beach (beautiful Key Biscayne, in case you're wondering - down by the lighthouse at the end of the island), and am now relaxing a bit until Miguel comes over. We're going to have dinner and possibly see a movie in the Grove tonight.

Tomorrow, I'm honoring my commitment to myself to find a new church, and will be trying something new, and afterward, I'm planning on attending the Coconut Grove Art Festival - either alone, or with a friend . . . we'll see how I feel when the time comes.

I really feel good today, and am happy about some positive changes in my life - namely, my attitude. Life is great, and I'm blessed with many outstanding friends and family, and all the things in life I need to live a comfortable life. Really, I shouldn't have anything to complain about. I choose to be happy.

Hope you're feeling the same way today. :o)

". . . a nameless face to think I see to sit and watch the waves with me, 'til their gone, a heart I'd swear I recognize is made out of my own devices, could I be wrong . . ."

Make Them Hear You

I had a great conversation with someone Friday regarding my family, and my closetedness, and she said something that really struck me. I was mentioning how I'm always seeking their approval, and how the churches that I typically seek out end up being homophobic churches that my family would approve of, as opposed to finding one that really fits me. She said (paraphrased):

It's paradoxical, really. Your family seems to have this rigid box, with narrow parameters for acceptance. You've already blown the lid off that box by being comfortable in who you are. Now, you're trying to recreate a box with new parameters that hopefully your family will approve of. It's logically inconsistent to believe that you can live a life that your family will approve of, and still maintain the comfort you've found in being yourself.

She's right - as are many of my friends who've challenged me recently to think critically about what I'm truthfully wanting in a church home, and I've decided to make a new commitment to myself, promising to find something that's right for me, as opposed to searching for something that my family approves. After all, it is MY relationship with God, not my family's.

I feel so much peace over taking this step to search for what's right for me, and I can't tell you how excited I am to be moving in a more positive direction. Coming out may be just around the corner, and I think I'm finally to a point in my life where that's okay.

"Go out and tell our story let it echo far and wide, Make Them Hear You, Make Them Hear You . . ."

To Me, You're Perfect

One of my all-time favorite movies is Love Actually. I could watch the movie over and over again, and never get sick of the stories, the music, and the emotions captured so perfectly in the film. I love how honest it is, and how real the writers make each of the stories. Whether happy, sad, exciting, silly, or devastating, the film really seems to depict each of the emotions so clearly.

This week is Valentine's Week, and as much as I know so many people hate this time of year and the holiday on the 14th, I really appreciate it. I love so many people in my life, and really have a lot for which to be thankful. I also have a lot of memories of shared love between friends and Valentines from the day, and it's always interesting to reflect on previous experiences and reminisce a bit.

Because it's Valentine's Week, I decided to change the colors of Critically Acclaimed tonight to include a bit of red. I'm not sure whether or not it will be a permanent change - honestly, I'm ready for something different, anyway.

This year, I'll be spending Valentine's Day with the chorus, singing songs about war, peace, and the various branches of the US Military. It may not be the most romantic way to spend the evening, but it will be spent with some of the folks whom I love in Miami, and that's something to smile about.

Love,
~J

". . . Love, Actually, is all around . . ."